The Indecency of Impatience

By Bruce Goldfaden

If ever there were a symbol of America’s impatience, cars and trucks would top the list, as would the drivers who misuse them in the race to get to their destination immediately. Once advertised as a symbol of leisure—an invitation to explore and enjoy the open road captured in the 1951 TV commercial, "See the USA in your Chevrolet" [1]—cars and trucks now represent the opposite of that nostalgia. Instead of leisure, they reinforce an attitude of “I cannot wait. I must get there now.” This stressed-out, revved-up mindset can become criminally impatient.

One research paper states, “…we show that more impatient individuals are also those more likely to commit violent, property, and drug crimes.” [2]

One research project looked at auto theft to understand criminally impatient people. “Stealing a car because you don’t want to wait for a ride or don’t want to take the bus highlights the…impatience for which committed street offenders are famous.” And, further, “…[they] were not facing exigent circumstances that demanded immediate cross-town mobility. Their apparent ‘need’ for transportation was more of a want warped into a need by the [aversion] for delay.” [3] [Ironic that the leading symbol of impatience, a vehicle, was chosen to document the very trait, impatience, by the stealing of the same symbol because the perpetrators could not wait.]

And, another study concludes, “…impatience is a negative emotion,…that arises in response to the appraisal that one is facing an objectionable (i.e., unreasonable, unfair, or inappropriate) delay in reaching a goal…[impatience] motivates action (sometimes impulsive action) to swiftly resolve the delay.” [4]

We rejoice in resolving the delay, causing criminally impatient conduct:

speeding [5]

Can't wait to get there.

–12,151 people killed in speeding-related crashes

–300,595 people injured in speeding-related crashes

distracted driving [6]

Can't wait to text.

–3,142 people killed by distracted driving

road rage [7]

Can't wait to blame someone.

–1 person shot and killed every 18 hours in a road rage incident

And, what about drunk driving? Can't wait—even if impaired—to get behind the wheel. “Every day, about 37 people in the United States die in drunk-driving crashes—that's one person every 39 minutes…13,524 people died in alcohol-impaired driving traffic deaths. These deaths were all preventable.” [8]

What else? How about domestic violence? Can't wait to let them know who's the boss. “Family and domestic violence…[affect] an estimated 10 million people every year;…Virtually all healthcare professionals will at some point evaluate or treat a patient who is a victim of domestic or family violence.” [9]

Maybe, the time has come to think about impatience as a national public health problem because it seems to be our sixth sense and not the idiomatic good kind of sixth sense. Impatience courses through every fiber of existence. We can

1. buy anything immediately with a credit card

2. buy other stuff immediately with buy now, pay later

3. pay for groceries immediately with self-checkout or express lanes

4. get food immediately in a drive-thru [writing “thru” instead of the correct, “through,” to save time]

5. lose weight immediately with a pill

6. redesign our face and body immediately with plastic surgery

7. get a date immediately by swiping right

8. destroy a person’s reputation immediately using social media’s rush to judgment

9. watch a TV show immediately with on-demand streaming

10. read a book immediately with a book summary service.

We exist in a continuous loop of impatience, which sets all sorts of behavioral expectations, and when someone moves slower than we expect, look out because indecency is likely to follow. “I cannot wait. I must get there now.” I documented our nation’s love affair with indecency in No More Decency?, showing how politics, culture, and media have intersected to split apart our nation while we mistreat each other in the process, all in what I call Indecency USA.

On further thought, I now believe a big part of Indecency USA is impatience. But, don’t take my word. Think about your actions. Right now, make a list of everything you did in the past 24 hours, including your thoughts and actions while driving. Place an X next to everything that was prompted by impatience. How many Xs are there? Are you contributing to indecency through your impatience, and how can you discontinue your contributions?

Because each of us has the power to change. Each moment offers the opportunity for mindfulness, the state of being present in which we can’t regret what happened nor fear what comes next. The very nature of the present prevents the restlessness, the irritation, the bad temper. Each of us has the power to cure our malaise, this indecency of impatience. And, in doing so, we’ll begin to neutralize the negative energy fueling our national love affair with improper behavior in Indecency USA.

References

[1] "See the USA in Your Chevrolet." Performed by Dinah Shore. Chevrolet Commercial, 1951. YouTube video. Accessed February 18, 2025. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhR8GZ_WWMM.

[2] Basiglio, Stefania, Foresta, Alessandra, and Turati, Gilberto, "Impatience and Crime: Evidence from the NLSY97," Journal of Economic Psychology, 2024, 2. Accessed February 18, 2025. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.joep.2024.102711.

[3] Jacobs, Bruce A. and Cherbonneau, Michael, "Patience and Crime," Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency 58, no. 4 (2021): 401–402. Accessed February 18, 2025. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022427820974427.

[4] Sweeny, Kate. "On (Im)Patience: A New Approach to an Old Virtue," Personality and Social Psychology Review (2024): 6. Accessed February 18, 2025. https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683241263874.

[5] National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "Speeding Catches Up with You.” Accessed February 18, 2025. https://www.nhtsa.gov/campaign/speeding-catches-up-with-you.

[6] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "Distracted Driving.” Accessed February 18, 2025. https://www.cdc.gov/distracted-driving/about/index.html.

[7] Everytown Research & Policy, “Road Rage Shootings Remain Alarmingly High.” Accessed February 18, 2025. https://everytownresearch.org/road-rage-shootings-remain-alarmingly-high/.

[8] National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, “Drunk Driving.” Accessed February 18, 2025. https://www.nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/drunk-driving.

[9] Huecker, Martin R., King, Kevin C., Jordan, Gary A., and Smock, William. “Domestic Violence.” National Library of Medicine, National Center for Biotechnology Information. Accessed February 18, 2025. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/.

Bruce Goldfaden is the founder of the decency action network and LSV Communications. He is the author of The Man of Many Colors, a parable about recognizing one's individual value to recognize this value in others to live by the Golden Rule, the appropriate code of conduct. The Man of Many Colors is available on amazon.com.

Copyright © 2025 Bruce Goldfaden and decency action network. All rights reserved. No part of this essay may be reproduced or redistributed in any form or by any means—except through sharing via a link to this web page or for brief quotations in a review—without the express written permission of Bruce Goldfaden and decency action network.